Next time, pee at the Texaco

Today I got a bit sidetracked from what I started out to do this morning.  The plan was to write some, read some of The Man Who Gave Up His Name, and start Writing Down the Bones.  Instead, I read George Singleton's Pep Talks, Warnings, & Screeds: Indispensable Wisdom and Cautionary Advice for Writers from cover to cover.  George was one of my writing teachers in high school, so most of the advice in the book was familiar and comforting.  I'm glad I reread the book, though, because I was reminded of one of the most important aspects of writing.

Pep Talk No. 67: NEXT TIME, PEE AT THE TEXACO

I fear that there's not enough danger in everyday life.  I'm not talking about gang-related violence and how the ease of buying handguns in America causes everyday danger.  I'm talking about public restrooms.  In the old days, there weren't fast-food restaurants at every intersection on the highway.  In the old days, if a traveler had to use the restroom, he had to go into grimy, strange Texaco and Gulf stations or roadside rest areas.  There was always graffiti in these places that read something like "Want to have a good time?  Meet me here at 4:30."  Then the traveler would look at his watch and see that it was 4:28 or thereabouts.  


Such anxiety and tension causes good fiction.  It's a different kind of tension than when the automatic hand dryer is broken.  So my advice for beginning writers is to pee in dangerous places, always.  Then give your characters that feeling of eminent danger.


This is perhaps the most hilarious and practical advice I've ever received about writing.  So much of writing is introverted and inexplicable.  The process is different for each person, and different things work for different writers.  But I'm not sure anyone could deny the effectiveness of this bit of advice.  Almost any writing teacher will tell you tension and conflict are the most important elements.  But emotions are what make tension and conflict believable and real for the reader.  Thanks, George, for the reminder.

Other bits of wisdom from George:

Pep Talk No. 12: THE ARC OF A SHOULDER


A good story tells us about the shoulder, the dislocated shoulder, the shoulder repaired, and if it's stronger or weaker after the entire ordeal.  Maybe the shoulder now feels more confident about itself.  Maybe it has incredible powers.  Maybe it refuses to move again -- out of guilt, fear, or obsession.


Pep Talk No. 42: THERE'S MORE THAN DNA ON THOSE BUTTS


One cigarette butt in an ashtray means that someone didn't find the setting all that interesting.  But here's the sign of conflict: a cigarette butt smoked down to the filter, alongside a lipstick-ringed cigarette filter that's been stamped out two puffs after being lighted.


An overflowing ashtray is disgusting, even to the most committed smokers.


Pep Talk No. 47: ON POTHOLES


A newly paved road winding through the country is not a story.  A road with a good pothole makes it a story.  A slew of potholes -- kind of like poking that fire ant mount with a stick -- makes it a novel.  Way too many potholes and you have an undrivable road and an uncontrollable novel.


Let's hope I can keep my potholes under control.