Syntax: an exercise

Try this. Take one of your most boring pieces of writing and choose from it three or four consecutive lines or sentences and write them at the top of a blank piece of paper.


My roommate is asleep on the couch with her dog and my feet are cold even though I just turned on the heat.  I would put on socks, but my roommate is sleeping on them.


See each one of those words simply as wooden blocks, all the same size and color....Now for about a third of the page scramble them up as though you were just moving wooden blocks around.  Don't try to make sense of what you write down.


Roommate couch dog turned socks roommate them sleeping cold though even on my would socks heat couch with her on but dog on even are and though just heat roommate my asleep is I put but them I is the couch dog are though I cold feet on roommate my turned heat feet but sleeping is my would even are cold her the dog asleep dog couch with I socks sleeping them cold sleeping and are though turned is asleep even I heat


Now, if you would like, arbitrarily put in a few periods, a question mark, maybe an exclamation point, colons, or semicolons.  Do all this without thinking, without trying to make any sense.


Roommate couch dog turned socks. Roommate them sleeping, cold though even on my would socks heat couch! With her on but dog on even are and though. Just heat, roommate my asleep is I put but them I is. The couch dog are though I cold feet? On roommate my turned heat feet. But sleeping is my would even, are cold her the dog asleep, dog couch with I. Socks sleeping them cold sleeping and are: though turned is asleep even I heat?


Now read it aloud as though it were saying something.  Your voice should have inflection and expression.  You might try reading it in an angry voice, an exuberant, sad, whining, petulant, or demanding voice, to help you get into it.


The moral of the story:


We think in sentences, and the way we think is the way we see.  If we think in the structure subject/verb/direct object, then that is how we form our world.  By cracking open that syntax, we release energy and are able to see the world afresh and from a new angle....Though "I eat an artichoke" sounds sensible and people will think you are sane, you now know that behind that syntax structure, the artichoke happens to also be eating you and changing you forever, especially if you dip it in garlic-butter sauce and if you totally let the artichoke leaf taste your tongue!  The more you are aware of the syntax you move, see, and write in, the better control you have and the more you can step out of it when you need to.  Actually, by breaking open syntax, you often get closer to the truth of what you need to say.  Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones, pages 77-80.